With all this talk about New Years resolutions, here is a thought. How about resolutions about stuff that we should let go of instead of concentrating on all of the goals that we want to take on?! With the Tucson tragedy, I am reminded of the stuff that really matters…family and that hot commodity called time come to mind.
Yes, I want to exercise more, but not if it cuts into my family time. Sure, I would like to have a tidy home, but not if I find myself constantly holding a sponge instead of my daughter’s hand. So, as I sadly reflect on last weekend’s events, I think to myself of past resolutions to release in my quest to be a manic, but somewhat managed, mom. So here are things I resolve to release:
1. Let the house go! This is a big one for me because even though I’m not a neat freak, I feel more relaxed when my house is clean. I read somewhere in an article by a family counselor that if a home is too neat, then she questions how much quality time is spent cleaning instead of just hanging out together. That made me think. I realized that I told my kids too many times that I would play with them after I finished the laundry. So, now I’ll fold a load, stop to read a book to my kids and then go back and put the clothes away.
2. Let go of my desire to finish projects from start to finish in one sitting! My wonderful mother-in-law told me when my first-born arrived that it would be hard for me to adjust to not being able to finish a job that I started. And boy, isn’t that the truth when kids come into the picture! I have decided that it is OK to do things in stages. Eventually the job will get done!
3. Let some of those kid annoyances go and pick my battles. If the crime is worth the time needed to correct, discuss and dole out consequences, then by all means, I will follow through as discipline is very important.
However, I will let the small stuff go like when my daughter snuck a second cookie at the salon yesterday. My son, who had just had his hair cut, couldn’t wait to tell me what little sister did when I had turned my back to pay the bill! He let me know that she chomped down a second forbidden cookie! I told her that she was cut off from any more treats the rest of the day, but I decided that since she had just brought home an excellent report card, I would let that one go, even though she did disobey me. Pickin’ my battles!
4. Let the guilt go. Last year I tried to say yes to as many volunteer requests as possible. As I went freelance, I thought that meant more “free time,” but somehow I am just as busy as I always was. Raising a family and caring for a home and pets is 24/7 and each time I said yes to donating my time, I ended up exhausted, overwhelmed and too busy to just be with my kids. And when I finally started saying no to requests, I felt pretty guilty. Guilt be gone because my time with my family is just too darn precious.
I still volunteer, but I choose stuff that matters to my family at the moment like helping out in the classroom. My daughter loves it when I help her teacher and my son was happy to have me sign up as a chaperone for his field trip. If the volunteer duty is going to take me away from my family, then I have to really consider the committment before I decide.
5. Let go of always putting myself last. I love the spa. I could live in a spa, well not really, but I could go for a weekly massage if I could! Nope, can’t do that for money and time reasons. However, this year I will redeem the two spa gift cards that I received from family last year, but felt too guilty to take the time to use. I just have to find a day to let all of my mom duties go and to go the place where my manic energy and managed schedules are melted away with a massage…at least for an hour anyway! I do believe that moms who are able to take a little time for themselves come back better moms. At least for me, I return rested and recharged!
6. Let go of the supermom syndrome! If I don’t get the thank you cards out one month from the gifts received date, it is OK. If the birthday cake is store-bought instead of homemade, so what. And if once in a while my kids get breakfast from McDonald’s instead of from my kitchen on the way to school…oh well! You do what you have to do with the day you are given to manically manage.
I tend to be a perfectionist and a control freak, but I was clueless to these traits about myself until I saw them in my own children. I realized that they were modeling what they saw Mom do! So this year I choose to do it all the best I can, but to also give myself a break when needed.
Manic managed moms unite and implement a few resolution releases! You may even end up with more energy as you let some things go and trade that stuff in for more down time with your precious family. When my son was born, my mom told me that the one thing you can’t get back is time. And how right she is.
Amen, sister! I am a Type-A mom as well and I love the idea of focusing on what to give up instead of piling more on my already over-stuffed plate! I, too, have a spa gift certificate from last year that I have yet to cash in. And, I really can relate to #2. It’s frustrating to not be able to get it all done RIGHT NOW, but some things (like my kids!) are more important.
So glad you agree as we moms need a break some time! And with that said, I plan to take a 20 minute nap before I make dinner in a bit, then take my son to practice, help my girl with homework, do laundry, change the cat litter, etc.! These are the days!
For us, breakfast is whatever takes less than a minute to make and we can eat in the car on the way to school so Mommy’s not late for work. Usually it’s a Z-bar, which actually full of vitamins and minerals. I’ve learned that sometimes you’ve got to allow yourself to be ‘good enough’ or you’ll drive yourself (and everyone around you) crazy.
Yes, breakfast on the run can be a challenge! I’ve also heard that the Z Bar is a good alternative and my kids like those, too…and it isn’t always easy to find healthy stuff that they like! Hang in there in the AMs Julie! I remember when I worked full-time plus kids and it isn’t easy!