Well…as they say in the south…I’ll be! The day after I wrote my emotional Half Empty Nest Article, I was pleasantly surprised with a SURPRISE visit from my college boy!
Joyful!
Woo hoo…what good timing as the mini mourning and adjustment phase was starting to take hold of this perplexed mama and just in time, I got my Jackie boy fix!
It did not go down as you would expect and the actual surprise element of the visit is sweet and I mean sweet about my husband.
He told me that he had some news that would cheer me up since I was a bit down this past weekend. Partly due to this half empty nest adjustment period and I’m quite certain that my wacky hormonal changes are also to blame. At 49, I have not yet tested perimenopausal, but I’m quite certain that my hormones are revving up and anxiously awaiting that dreaded starting line to race me to that different kind of change in life.
Combine that with the empty nest changes and boom…I am really starting to get why this stage is difficult on the moms!
But back to the guys now, specifically my hubs. I expected the news to be work related as he has been working hard and we are anxiously awaiting our year-end financial results, this year more than ever before, now that college tuition has become a BIG part of our vocabulary. That word and giant expense will stick around for the next 8 years since we have two kiddos!
I truly did NOT expect a visit from our son until October or even Thanksgiving. We get to see him in two weeks for family weekend at the university so I was counting down to that.
Our son hasn’t seemed to have that urge of missing home yet. I don’t blame him as life is so exciting now, he has made a bunch of new pals from all over the country and he is adjusting very well and doing great in his classes, including the honors curriculum. Bravo son!
So when my husband swore me to secrecy and told me that our boy and his cutie pie girlfriend are coming for dinner, I was truly SO surprised. Tears welled up in my eyes and I remembered that they were already puffy from the weekend’s big emotional cry that I had finally let myself fully release. After all, we are now nearing the one month mark since our son left for college. It is now very real.
He is in our same city but I really want him to have the experience of going away to college so I have left him alone. Believe it or not. It is true.
My husband always tells me to let them come to us. He is right.
Minutes after hearing about this big surprise, I was scrambling to find my phone so I could get ready for our unexpected fun night (I had planned on a very unexciting day of cleaning out a closet)…and then…my girl calls and wants to hang out, too!
Two in one! Really! From a quiet and almost lonely weekend as hubs and I adjust to this new world…to all of a sudden crazy chaos again. I wanted to have my time with our teen daughter (who 99% of the time finds us suddenly uninteresting) to getting back to the house in time for quality time with our son and his girlfriend.
When it rains it pours…and this is one storm I happily looked forward to!
So again for you moms going through this….it does help when you get that visit. I got my son fix! And it is helpful to let them come to you as my husband wisely and gently said to me more than once during these last few weeks.
What a brand new world we have entered with our young adult.
Our visit went well. I played the surprised mom and may have gotten away with it because my gentle tears were real.
Our son is happy and well. Although he is fighting a cold (cue worried mama frown).
Instantly my mama bear tendencies came out and I wanted to put him to bed, serve him soup and see that he takes it easy. I didn’t go that far but I did get him to take some extra vitamins while he was here. And I was touched when I observed my husband doing the same thing when he offered to make our boy some hot tea. At first our young man declined, but then with a little nudge from his well meaning parents, he took and drank the tea. I was very happy to see that.
When it was time for them to leave, they commented that they were stopping at Walgreens. “What do you need?” I asked, ready to comb my home to find stuff they could take. “No we are good,” my boy tells me. They let us know that they had planned to go to the drug store anyway.
Oh that’s right. These two are pretty independent now and are enjoying that independence. Oh I do remember what an exciting time that is when you learn to take care of yourself.
After grabbing his mail and also his credit card statement (everything is different now), we received big loving hugs. We watched them ride off back to collegeland and a peaceful joy came over me. Such a nice warm and fuzzy feeling. My heart felt full.
I just wish that he didn’t have that pesky cold.
Once a mama, always a mama. No matter how old they get.
What a wonderful Labor Day….my wonderful surprise. And yes I feel much better today. So empty nest syndrome stuff, pesky hormonal changes and all of the above, take that! My boy came home to surprise me and I am feeling fine…just counting down the days until family weekend arrives. But until then I will leave him be. I am just crossing my fingers that he will keep his promise and go to the doctor if he feels worse.
It is all about adjusting. Happy, sad, anxious and peaceful adjusting. I wish this for all of my Mama pals going through this stage.
I wish you peaceful adjusting…and a surprise visit 🙂
